Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
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