remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Randomize
