I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
