I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
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