Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
