I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Randomize
