Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Randomize
