New invention idea: vibrating tampons
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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