i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
and she was petting her beer can
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
