FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Oh god it's open bar.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Randomize
