my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
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