My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
