I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
