Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
