i jhust puked up my retainher.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Randomize
