Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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