why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Randomize
