Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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