My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
3 2 1 whiskey
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Randomize
