I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Randomize
