where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
Where is the hickey?
he told me I talked like a deaf person
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
