Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
