$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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