I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
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