i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
