Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
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