did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Randomize
