Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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