put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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