I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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