2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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