don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
