We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
