I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Randomize
