Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I intend to get homeless drunk
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
