Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
