last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize