I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
3pm strippers are depressing
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
You can't just leave with hair like that
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
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