people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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