What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Randomize
