I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Randomize
