Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
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