my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
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