even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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