Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
