she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
is it fun? or sober?
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