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• (314): View more from Missouri

  we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.

  (1-314): View more from Missouri

  i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is

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• (202): View more from Washington, DC

  Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show

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• (914): View more from New York

  we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.

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• (343): View more from Ontario

  I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time

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• (915): View more from Texas

  Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.

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• (859): View more from Kentucky

  I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.

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• (719): View more from Colorado

  Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.

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• (518): View more from New York

  And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window

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• (618): View more from Illinois

  When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"

  (1-618): View more from Illinois

  As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!

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• (503): View more from Oregon

  It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.

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• (304): View more from West Virginia

  Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!

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• (404): View more from Georgia

  MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER

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• (716): View more from New York

  Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?

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• (310): View more from California

  My feet surprised me

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• (229): View more from Georgia

  Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.

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