Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
