i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
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