There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Randomize
