I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
did you just send me my own nude
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
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